


Paint My Skin With Purple Flowers

by WHIPLASH127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, I Made Myself Cry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Nakamoto Yuta-centric, Physical Abuse, Si-Chang is an angel, What Have I Done, look there is very little comfort, small plot twist, this was an essay for English
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29845176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WHIPLASH127/pseuds/WHIPLASH127
Summary: I’m just sad you don’t have to read the resthere is a few things to know about this and meI am in a safe home now I suffered from abuse from an early agealcohol is a serious addiction you need to get helpI was feeling really sad I suffer from depression and anxietyYuta is kind of my way to ventSi-Cheng is my angelI do not own any of these charactersNo hate for Yuta’s parents because I believe they are good people I just twisted them here  and I kinda hate myself for it
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta
Kudos: 5





	Paint My Skin With Purple Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just sad you don’t have to read the rest
> 
> here is a few things to know about this and me
> 
> I am in a safe home now I suffered from abuse from an early age 
> 
> alcohol is a serious addiction you need to get help
> 
> I was feeling really sad I suffer from depression and anxiety 
> 
> Yuta is kind of my way to vent  
> Si-Cheng is my angel 
> 
> I do not own any of these characters 
> 
> No hate for Yuta’s parents because I believe they are good people I just twisted them here and I kinda hate myself for it

Coming out to my family was extremely hard; they weren’t like my boyfriend’s family. He had it easy as his sister came out before him. I was different, the first child, and never did they want to fix me until then the moment I told them I liked boys and introduced my boyfriend to them. Even from the beginning when I left to go to college in Korea the language barrier was a problem but sharing a room with another foreign male would change everything including my inconclusive sexuality and my life. The boy gave me enough courage to come out to my parents. The way it unfolded was  
I had planned it out in my mind Friday night evening with a dinner set boyfriend in hand helping me cook for my mother and father would be perfect otherwise no flaw in our outcome. I was so Positive it would go perfectly.  
“Winko baby are you ready for dinner with my parents, are you okay?”Concern dripping from my voice with nothing but his mental health in mind to forget about my struggles.  
“ No, it should be me asking if you are okay. You planned this you flew out from Korea to Japan just to come out to your parents are you sure about this Yuta.” He said  
“Stop trying to avoid the fact that you are scared I can tell. So please prepare yourself and don’t have a nervous breakdown. If it goes wrong I will be with you.”  
Time possessed slowly while waiting for them to arrive Even being 18 and out of the house, it made me anxious like all the times I did it to make my parents less mad at my report card for failing grades something my little brother picked up on and was eventually sent to an all-boys boarding school in Osaka because of how much trouble he is. It didnt matter because we both are gay and he was going to move in with me in Korea after he graduates.  
Finally, dinner was up and going prayers long said and Sicheng introduced there was nothing more to say and for a while we just let them assume he was just a friend until I felt the moment was right.  
“Mom, Dad I have something to say I feel it is of extreme importance that you know it.” it sounded very business-like but they were Si-cheng was holding my hand under the table made me feel invincible.  
“Yuyu Baby what is it.’ my mother sounded a bit worried about it though it did not show.  
“I like boys” It was rushed and all came out jumbled. It didnt even sound like a sentence.  
“Yuta you know damn well that we speak slowly and clearly in this household. Do I have to remind you how to speak to us? “  
“No sir. I remember how to speak to you correctly.”I said with a slight shake of my head and a tremble of my voice.  
“Okay continue and speak correctly this time,” he said with extreme strictness that even Si-cheng shuddered next to me  
“Yes, sir, I was saying earlier that I like boys, and Si-Cheng isn’t just a friend his my boyfriend” A soon as the words left my mouth my parents stop eating and stared at me in shock. It went silent enough to hear a pin drop. It was only half a second till hell broke loose.  
The first thing that left their mouths would haunt me for the rest of my life and leave me scarred and broken. I thought everything would be good but it went wrong because I was too caught up in what it would be in a perfect universe until I was pulled back to reality with harsher words.  
“ If it’s true you are a disgusting sinner, we will see if we can cure you of this disease of liking men because I won’t accept it” my father sneered.  
“You like boys as in romantically because if that’s what you were meaning you can take Si-cheng home and come back so we can have a conversion just us.” Deathly calm was the words came out of my mother’s mouth it sent a feeling of dread down my spine.  
“Yes, ma’am will do so. Winko baby let’s head out” my voice a void of emotions as we stood up and left back to the hotel.  
Never have I felt so much pain with the reaction I got But I could only fear what was next for me but hide and share whatever time I have left with my boyfriend. Scared of what’s to happen to me within 20 minutes.Silent tears running down my face not wanting to face him.  
“Yuta baby I know it’s not going the way we expected it to. Know that right now I can’t be with you for the next steps of this process but I will be with you in your heart.” It was calm but desperation leaked through that small sentence. As he wiped the tears off my face. We made it record time. I didn’t want to let go to go back. He slowly let me out of the hug so I could head back.  
Whatever happen knows I love you and will always love you.”I left without giving him the option of response.”  
The walk back was excruciating always trying to guess what would be waiting for me. It was in fear because my dad has a history of raising his hand to his kids as punishment and well just for his entertainment to see us cry and limp for days after. So walking back into that house after dropping Si-cheng gave off a bad vibe. Walking through the empty halls my bare feet slapping against the floor and echoing through the halls before I entered the living room. Everything just felt wrong.  
“ Mom, Dad. I’m here where are you guys?” wary confusion was obvious in my voice as well as a bit of hesitance.  
“We are up in what was your room Yuta.” My mother’s voice was a void of emotion it was strange to hear her like that.  
So I made my way up to meet them no sound exchange from them. I made my way to my room to find them sitting on my bed waiting for me and my dad with a belt and my mom just there like when I was little when they would punish me because I kissed a male classmate in an empty classroom. Out of habit or instinct, it was to kneel in front of them and ask for forgiveness. But this time I kneel without giving them the satisfaction of me begging for forgiveness because I told Si-cheng that I wouldn’t bend to their will again. He never knew the true extent of their actions because of the idea of it being a burden for him to carry that was supposed to be mine.  
“Nakamoto Yuta we are going to fix you if by morning. If it does not fix then your title of being our child will be renounced and you will be disowned do you understand that?” Stating it as if it was a challenge maybe be even a competition.  
“What are you going to do to me? Beat me? Oh, there is no problem I guessed you were going to do it so just get it over with.” Mockingly with a playful yet nasty tone because no matter what the belt was still coming for me. There was no running from it and no waking up because it wasn’t sleeping.  
“Yuta I expected better from you. Stop being stubborn because it will get you nowhere in this house that is protected by god because you have become a sinner, and all your mother and I want to do is help you get whatever that is inside you that caused this out.” Without giving me chances to give a snarky response he pulled his arm back and the belt came across my face. My mother wouldn’t save me because left the room long before it continued.  
I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of him herring me scream my lips bitten raw blood dripping down my lips where a puncture hole was created by my teeth. Hand, feet, belt leaving marks across my body. hits to the head scratched left by sharp nails but I made sure never to make a sound even with the pain that racked through my body with each lash. I was sure that Blue, Red, Purple, greens, and black flowers would bloom under my skin. It would mostly paint my skin with deep purple flowers across every surface the belt his hand and his shows could reach on my skin. Over and over again with each lash, my mind would drift to places like my boyfriend’s smile thinking I would never live to see his smile again. My surroundings faded into black senses filled with cotton muffling the noise around me living me in a painless state.  
Coming through was nothing but the pain. Hearing something through the walls hear muffled sobs coming from my father who never cried ever. His word hurt the most and shattered me into a million more pieces. I didn't think it was possible.  
“My son. I wish I raised him better. I knew it was my fault. I let him live too leniently now he has become a sinner. I have tried to get the demon who possesses him out I even poured the water of the gods on him.”  
“Yutaro, we tried to fix him. Maybe we just give up and let him go. He deserves to love and be loved no matter what. We will keep him in our hearts.” Empathy sounded fake out of her mouth but it was true. It was silent before a huge slap sounded. He the man I called my father hit my mother because she said I deserve to be loved. Rage sounded "YOU THINK YOU CAN PROTECT A SINNER HE'S GOING TO HELL AND YOU WILL TO IF YOU DONT REPENT NOW!"  
I heard nothing else for a while just laying there in silence. The door to my room open quietly and in came my mother with a red handprint on her cheek. whispering to me with care “Yuyu baby I’m sorry I hope you can forgive me. For what has been said you are not allowed back in the house as your father sees you as a sinner and I just want to protect you. I will find a way to see you.” It Was like old times again when my father used to raise our hands to all of the members n the household.”  
“Mommy I’m so sorry. I’m so damn sorry. Should have stayed away. I love you so much And forgive you.” Sobs racked through both of us as she patched me up and kissed my face over and over again. Helping tend to my wounds and sneaking me out to give me a ride to the hotel.  
“Yuyu, My baby be free and know that mommy loves you a lot and just wants to let you know you are free to go. Please take this with you though. I knew this day might remember I want to give this to you.” While speaking to me she handed me a necklace to wear with a symbol that translates to happiness. “Please wear this necklace to remember me even if you can't it's okay. Give your boyfriend my apologies."  
Walking into the quiet room makes me feel a little safer when I see him I walk to him where there was there a quiet exchange between us that comfort me through the pain with no words before getting up and embracing me gently without words the comfort that would stay the same for the rest of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MarkHyuck is a work in progress


End file.
